Here's the way it goes in our home;
1. We set some "rules" for our daughter.
2. Abide by them for awhile.
3. Disregard them in direct proportion to the success of the first two.
Over and over, this has been the pattern with regard to my child. We act as if the rule we set is the punishment and the absolving of it is the reward. We forget that the rule was established in the first place as a way to take control of a situation. Of course once the rule is no longer enforced our child begins to repeat her former behavior and we are again faced with handling the situation. As I put this down in writing I see the "humor" of my actions. I have not considered, that the reason for the success under the rule is because we were enforcing it!
In truth we tend to let our guard down because were lazy. We don't want to enforce rules because it is work for us to do so. But, a child who suffers from FASD (like the rest of us) needs some structure to cope with life. The difference for a special needs child is that the enforcement must be repeated more often and consistently in order for it to have any impact. Doing this well, will hopefully establish "habits" that will last a life time.
In a sense, rules are the outward inforcement of the "self discipline" that non FASD people sometimes practice. I have heard it said that children with FASD need an outer brain to help them make decisions that come naturally for others. Establishing "rules" of conduct is one form of this outer brain. Oh what a responsibility we have to raise FASD children. May God grant us the wisdom, patience and strength to nurture these people.
1. We set some "rules" for our daughter.
2. Abide by them for awhile.
3. Disregard them in direct proportion to the success of the first two.
Over and over, this has been the pattern with regard to my child. We act as if the rule we set is the punishment and the absolving of it is the reward. We forget that the rule was established in the first place as a way to take control of a situation. Of course once the rule is no longer enforced our child begins to repeat her former behavior and we are again faced with handling the situation. As I put this down in writing I see the "humor" of my actions. I have not considered, that the reason for the success under the rule is because we were enforcing it!
In truth we tend to let our guard down because were lazy. We don't want to enforce rules because it is work for us to do so. But, a child who suffers from FASD (like the rest of us) needs some structure to cope with life. The difference for a special needs child is that the enforcement must be repeated more often and consistently in order for it to have any impact. Doing this well, will hopefully establish "habits" that will last a life time.
In a sense, rules are the outward inforcement of the "self discipline" that non FASD people sometimes practice. I have heard it said that children with FASD need an outer brain to help them make decisions that come naturally for others. Establishing "rules" of conduct is one form of this outer brain. Oh what a responsibility we have to raise FASD children. May God grant us the wisdom, patience and strength to nurture these people.